Stability is a much sought and much dreaded concept. What happens though when the only stable thing is instability itself? The uncertain becomes the certain. The fog is the only sure thing in front of you. The only thing you know is that you don’t know anything. The only instinct you can trust is the instinct telling you you can’t trust your instincts.
It’s cool to have uncertainty. But you can only have uncetainty for so long – I long for routine while dreading it. I love developing habits, belonging somewhere, knowing that people are expecting me to be in one place or another. But on the other hand I enjoy having freedom – not having to be anywhere anytime. Which one is more important?
I actually want stability! Whichever way that takes me! I need to have the foundation! And I think I’m starting to build it. It’s a strong foundation – except for the tiny little detail of it being imaterial!
Perpetual inconsistencies!!! I hate them!